| Jenna's profileOne Penguin WalkinPhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
March 27 Superheroes and SupermindsDo you have a 'hero'? It sounds weird to think of having a hero as an adult-- it seems cute when kids admire people like that, but as an adult it just sounds out of place. I suppose it's still 'cute' when some people say their mom or dad or someone like that. Today someone I know said that the people we watch who invoke that sense of awe, the thoughts that say 'i wish i had that', are the people who inspire us. I'd say that is often true. I wonder if that is the grown up version of a hero-- someone who inspires us to go after something that we wouldn't have pursued without them.
I work with a lot of intelligent people. These are people who can talk to nobel prize laureates as equals and I think that can be an insane thing to think about. But I know that they sacrafice in other areas of their lives to do what they do. And I observe them, the variants of people from the socially inept to disabled, and I really wonder if at some point the brainy of the brainy have to sacrifice something of the heart. Not all, but many of them put everything that most people who put on the 'meaningful' on the 2nd shelf-- love, friendship, art, anything that has to do with enjoying life outside of work. But then again, if they've found what they love, then maybe they have it pretty good. Still, I admire these people for their discipline and intellect, but I can't imagine calling one of them my 'hero' in the inspiration sense. For me, I have to be able to see something vibrant, something that rings true in their heart and mine, that I can admire beyond their talents or abilities. I don't know what that means, but if I find myself inspired by such 'heroes' throughout my life, I think I'll count myself as lucky. March 19 The SparrowThank you for your well wishes on my root canal recovery...It seems have been an unlucky reaction to the back to back procedures. Tommorrow will hopefully be a good day. Why? Because the dentist office will be open and they can get me better drugs. Sweet.
Back in high school I had this English teacher who was annoying, but very passionate about literature. He once told us this about a short story about a sparrow and I remember that everyone was really moved by it. On the last day of class, he gave each of us a copy of this story, with a note that said "May you find the love of the sparrow". Ever since then, I've thought about this sparrow story and even though I haven't read it in years, it stuck with me. I never really thought about why it stood out as memorable...until recently. Maybe you can tell me what you think: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As he wept in the garden, a small sparrow saw him. The sparrow was so moved by the young man's passion and thought how terrible it was that this man could not have his true love. He saw his sadness and thought, "I must help him". So he flew to the bush of white roses and plunged his chest into one of the thorns, using his tiny wings to push further and further into the sharp thorn until his blood covered a one of the white roses, turning it perfectly red. The young man was so delighted to see that one red rose had appeared, he didn't notice the lifeless body of the sparrow. He was so thrilled to find it, he plucked it from the bush and hurried to approach the girl, ready to win her heart. She took the rose and looked at it for a moment, dropped it on the ground, and walked away. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wish I could find my copy of the original short story. It's so much better than my paraphrase. The story gets to me though. The thing is, it seems like it should just be tagged as depressing, but I think it's deeper than that. To me, it tells of the beauty of love in spite of the the tragedy of someone throwing it away--not seeing it's worth. I guess I see hope in that, despite the obvious sadness. Hope that-- like the story, there is beauty in love no matter how it is received...and perhaps that is enough.
March 15 Not a real pick me up...The past two days my life has revolved around the dentist office. Once my face regains consciousness and the stroke victim numbness goes away, I realized that the numbness was better. I don't really know why, but my jaw freaks out whenever I get those novocaine shots. Swells up and I feel like I need to hospitalized with a 'happy tap'. Neither of my parents have this problem, go figure. Anyways, root canals hurt like a mother and I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for the second half of the fixings. Makes me want to 'sell out' and work for the man. I need y'all to help me brainstorm on 300 ways to make top ramen cause that's what i'll be living on for the rest of the year. Peace out. March 14 3 Bears and a Bowl of PorridgeMan, MSN spaces kills me sometimes. It can take twice as long to get a successful login as to update. Plus, it keeps rejecting the comments I try to sumbit on y'alls spaces.
Oh yeah, and re: a comment from my last post, the studies I cited about babies gazing at symmetric faces etc obviously had to place these subjects within a foot or so of their faces because of the near sightedness of infants. Babies can 'stare' within close ranges at certain stages of their development, the question is whether they gaze because they like what they are staring at, or because it is easier to fixate on (or another factor).
I don't have much to say...except that girl scouts need to chill out. I swear I've been attacked by those cookie peddlers everywhere I go. I've eaten waaay too many thin mints.
I was driving today and I passed by one of those stations that are along paths and in a lot of parks where they those things made of wood and signs that show you what kind of exercises you can use it for. Sometimes they are a pull up bar and sometimes it's nothing more than a stump that you are supposed to stretch on. Then I thought about how my friend showed me pictures of a similar thing she saw in Europe. In all of my 20+ years I have never once seen a person using one of these stretch/exercise stations. And every one of these things looks to be in the same condition. I wonder if there was some kind of international trend of 'lets put up exercise stations' before I was born.
I share an office with a coworker who makes it a point to work out several times a week. (I would never imagine him working one of those exercise stations, but I digress...) Truth be told, it ain't helping. The proper response is 'good for him for making an effort'. I realize this. But I feel like so many people want others to reassure them that they are doing the right thing by going to the gym, yet the hypocrisy of downing the greasy junk of our everyday lives is just ridiculous. I think the status quo in American society is eating bad and 'working' off about 1% of it in the gym. I don't have any answers, but it seems strange to me.
I would bet that there are neuromodulators that cause some people to respond differently to physical activity. I know some people who thrive on the strain of challenging the body, while others seem to buckle under the slightest of pressures. I guess that sounds pretty similar to any kind of challenge we face in life. Some people can't handle much adversity at all, most people want something middle of the road--not too hard, not too easy, but a few go after what seems the most difficult in hope of conquering something exceptional, and it seems that they find a way to enjoy the strain involved with the process. Whatever did happen to Goldielocks? She was looking for the porridge and the bed that was 'just right'. Did she find what she was looking for?
March 08 Whatcha lookin at?The other day I had fallen into a major afternoon energy slump. I felt
like I needed some caffeine if I was to get through the next 8 hrs I
had left in the day so I raced into the Starbucks nearby. While I'm
there, this paramedic was ordering at the cash register and some guy,
around 18 yrs old or so, was standing a few feet away from him, mouth
gaping open and staring at him like he was on fire. I was first
perplexed as to whether he was in line, but it became more and more
disturbing to watch him stare at the paramedic. When the paramedic was
done ordering and went to get the milk/sugar he followed him like he
was getting away and continued to stare. I knew this guy had to have
some kind of condition, but it was horrifying to watch. Man. If I was being stared at in that manner I would run away or something. Isn't it strange that staring is harmless yet can induce such an uncomfortable reaction? I wonder why that is. Do we assume others are judging or criticizing when they stare? Then again, staring in the sense of gazing is a sign of attraction and a positive reaction. People report that babies 'like' to gaze at faces that are more symmetrical and thus more 'beautiful'. The assumption that they like it is unfounded, but it seems to be something along the lines of enjoyment. Staring is a something that seems to communicate strongly. It seems to make a statement towards the more extreme ends of like or dislike. I can't imagine staring at something because it is 'so mediocre'. Perhaps it's because our eyes can speak in a more honest way than other ways that we communicate. We can learn to control things we say to fit certain standards, but our eyes are quick to react. I'm not sure if this is interesting to anybody else, but I think it's peculiar. I'm definitely going to pay attention to people's eyes next time I want to know what they really think... March 05 The CrapshootI have a new song of the moment: Wash Away by Joe Purdy. Without a
doubt, it's worth the 99 cents for the download off of iTunes. At
first, it seemed like a mellow Jack Johnson-esque tune, the kind of
thing you might hear on a commercial for some island vacation. But as I
listened closer, I could hear that the words were a little bittersweet.
Yet the atmosphere that the song projects has a really pretty ambiance.
That is the texture of stories, music, and art that affect me most. I feel like a lot of happy people tell me that everything is good and that none of the things that bother me are real. That feels like the biggest slap in the face sometimes. But I can't deny that some people seem to find happiness with that kind of thinking--even if it seems like denial/putting on the blinders mentality to me. In my mind, bittersweet is still better. It has a depth and a strength that I don't see in the latter approach to life. Yeah, I know I'm speaking in generalities here, but I don't have the desire nor the words to elaborate into specifics. Sometimes I think we roll a die in terms of what we will be exposed to today-- what our coworkers might say to us flippantly, what car we'll accidently cut off, and what friends we may or may not run into. As much as I'd like to think that I can filter the bad out and listen to the good, it doesn't work like that in practice. In math, there are a lot of techniques that applied mathematicians and scientists use because they work. They can't yet prove that they are true. I feel like that's all we have sometimes-we use what seems to work, we can't prove a lot of things, but we stick by them. In the meantime, we keep on rolling our dice...either hoping for the faces we desire or trying to avoid losing the game. |
|
|
